Not for who you are, not for what you've done, but god dammit I hate you for what you did.
I am so mad right now and I can't find sober words to express these thoughts inside my head.
I hate you so fucking much for what you have done.
I love you, I wish you knew that, I thought you did, I guess you didn't know or it didn't matter.
I am dying over here, I'm eating myself alive and drinking like a fish wondering what the fuck I did wrong while you're gone. Why the fuck didn't you call me?!
You have my fucking number! I made it so everyone I know has my number, I hate most people but I made it so you have my fucking number and you didn't even call. God dammit why didn't you call?!
I was with you through your marriage, through the birth of your first and second child, I was there for your first divorce, I told you the second was a bad choice, but like always, you didn't listen.
I fucking hate you so much right now. I'm here ready to listen and my fucking phone won't ring. I call you and all I'm getting is voicemail.
I fucking hate you right now.
I found out through fucking Facebook. Through fucking Facebook.
Your mom called me. I heard her voice stutter as she told me what you did. Your mom cried in my ear and you couldn't pick up a phone and tell me what was happening. I fucking hate you for this.
I just wish you knew how much I loved you.
I just wish you knew how much I cared, I would've dropped everything I had, I would've given up everything I own, I would've gone to the depths of the earth to bring you back from where you were. I would've done anything for you.
I just wish you would've known that. Now I'm over here dying and you're dead.
I fucking hate you for this.
I just wished you knew that I loved you.
I'm sorry you didn't love yourself brother.
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| "The biggest scares don't have bandages." - J.R. |
