Day 124 March 7 2014: I want you

I want warm hearts to heat cold rooms,
I want warm kisses on cold skin,
I want hot coffee on cold mornings,
I want cold hands on hot days,
I want little whispers on big events,
I want small tickles on silent nights,
I want noisy moans on big thrusts,
I want quiet whispers and loud smiles,
I want fast beats with our chest pressed together,
I want you, I want you, I want you.

I want you and I want everything that you want.

I want you and I want you to want me.

I want you.

Day 123 March 6 2014: Love is...

Love is fixing a flat tire in the rain on your lunch break, it's never going to bed angry or saying "I hate you," it is staying up all night because you wanna know if they made it safe.
Love can be a chore.

Love is slamming doors but never bodies, raising voices but never hands, hitting end call but never each other, it is a constant battle but a winning war.
Love can be a strain.

Love is dancing in an empty room with no music, it's fidgeting hands watching a movie on mute, it is quiet giggles, silent stares, and whispers of "I love you."
Love can be so noisy.

Love is crying because you lost someone, it is crying because you found someone, it is crying even harder because someone found you, it is full of tears just waiting for someone to dry.
Love can make you cry.

Love is breaking bank accounts to make someone happy, its tearing apart a garden to present a bouquet, it is ripping apart clothing to feel the skin underneath.
Love can be destructive.

Love is a force that pulls us, binds us, confines us, grips us, rips us, tears us, and shares us.
Love can be constrictive.

Falling in love is something we all do, even if you consider yourself the most grounded person, someday you'll fall. It's a force that stops you in your tracks, knocks you off your feet, steals the wind from your lungs, and you pray that someone is waiting for you at the bottom of that drop.
Some of us get lucky, but some of us are never lucky enough to know what falling feels like.

I love love, but I'd love it more if you'd meet me at the bottom.

"Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love." - Albert Einstein

Day 122 March 5 2014: Dreams

I once was a zebra and I danced in the forest, I could throw up cats and pull fish out of my ears.

I once flew through China and I wrestled a bear, I farted out a rainbow and could skate on clouds.

I could spit fire and shoot lightning from my nipples, I danced on the sun and slept on the moon.

I had a talking dog and was eighty feet tall, I had basketballs for feet and could sing showtunes.

I cursed out a dragon and played cards with an octopus in a suit while watching cartoons.

This is why I sleep, this is why I love to dream.

I carried a car with one hand and had forty five fingers, I ate a shoe and had apples for eyes.

I could speak latin and I could breathe underwater, I lived in a book and had blue skin.

I flew a rocketship and did magic, I could shape shift and became part lion.

I rode a horse and fought a goblin, I traveled across space and I punched evil chickens.

I once danced with a donkey who wore a red dress and called me Simon.

This is why I sleep, this is why I dream.

I'd dream about you but I couldn't think of something that fantastic, I'll stick with my disco dancing oranges and let my real life be more amazing than anything I could dream up.

You're a dream I want to wake up and enjoy.

Day 121 March 4 2014: Me and my other half/Schizophrenia is killing us

I sat there looking at my mismatched socks, crumpled up jeans, empty pizza box, and vomit that streamed across the floor thinking outloud to myself, "This Is why no one takes you seriously, you fuck." Words like that, even from yourself hurt when they hit your ears.
I had already drank half that bottle and the other half looked more tempting than the first, "I bet I could drown myself and still swim in happiness" I spoke this allowed though no one but me was there hear it, so I decided to argue with myself.
"You're a cunt and you'll always be a cunt."
"Well you're a drunk and you'll always be a drunk looking for your next depressant."
"I've never liked you, you were always the worst part of me."
"You my dearest friend, have been the worst part of me, why do you think I tried to cut you out?"
"Let us not bring that up, scars are enough reminders."
"Eat my asshole you fucker!"
"Oh is that how it's gonna be you cock-bag?"
"Fuck you Clementine! You were the stupid piece of shit that likes to get drunk and start fights and I'm the one left to finish them, don't you tell me about scars you fuck hole! I got this one above our eye to remind me that your fucking stupid!"
"Alright, alright but, it was still pretty funny to see that little bitch of a man cry when you kick him right?"
We both laughed from the same lungs and mouth.
"Ha I forgot about that, he was a dreadful little shit wasn't he? I bet his father never loved him."
Half of me stopped laughing
"Why do you say shit like that?"
"Better question is why do you say shit like that?"

I fucking hate talking to mirrors, they say what you won't say and you see what you don't like to look at, my reflection has always been someone I've hated, it's always been something I've never wanted to see.

This is my life, well I guess this is our life, we just both live in the same body.

I guess the Angels on my shoulders aren't as loud as those damn demons inside my fucking head.