Day 87 January 29 2014: A skewed vision

She was looking for someone to love her
I was looking for someone to warm my sheets
She was looking for someone to hold her
I was looking for someone to occupy my time
She was looking for something lasting
I was looking for a means to an end
She was looking for love
I was looking for lust

I treated you badly, badly is the nicest way I can put it, you deserve someone who will fix your heart if they break it, not someone who will walk away from the pieces.

Love is measured in broken heartbeats.
I am a distorted version of love.

Day 86 January 28 2014: Lifeline

I only once told her once I could save her,

she has spent forever asking me to rescue her.

I can't be your lifeline.

Day 85 January 27 2014: I'm stuck here waiting.

I've watched trees bloom, blossom, wither, and die, all while waiting for you.

I've seen shores sink and raise, sands push in and out, ships come and go, all while waiting for you.

I've stood and seen stones wither to sand, I've seen grains pile into dunes, all while waiting for you.

I've watched watches stop working, I've seen hands twist about their face, I've seen the faces flip over themselves, all while waiting for you.

I said I'd wait forever but I'm fearful you're testing my resolve.

Day 84 January 26 2014: "It's not you, it's me."

It's not that I don't want to love you, it's that I don't want to hurt you.
If you understood what that meant I think you wouldn't be so angry.

Dying alone has never been a fear of mine.
Leaving someone behind has always been one.

Day 83 January 25 2014: Unread Letters

I wrote you a letter today.

It's the best way I have to still talk to you, I think often of our talks and how you always gave me the best advice when I needed it most.
When I questioned my faith you were the one that told me no matter what I believed or didn't believe, I wasn't wrong and we'd still be friends, when I wanted to end it all you told me there was more for me, when I gave up on myself you still had faith in me, when I had no faith in myself.
I couldn't ask for a better friend, I couldn't ask for a better brother,and I couldn't ask for a better Marine.
Somedays I miss you more than you could imagine man, somedays I think only of you, somedays are harder than the rest bro.
I wish you could have met the guys I met, You would've fit right in man.

If hearts were mailboxes, mines full of envelopes with your name on them just waiting to be opened.

I wrote you a letter today, I just wish there was an address to where you are.

Day 82 January 24 2014: A cold acrostic

I hate going to sleep with you only on my mind and not in my bed.

My heart is empty and my sheets are cold.

I need you to come back to this room.

Since you left the heat has escaped.

Somehow I can't ever get warm.

You haven't even called and I'm waiting by the phone.

Only you can fix this horrible situation.

Unless you come back, I will spend forever in my dreams.

Day 81 January 23 2014: Eternally yours

There's a love for you that is deeper than you'll ever know, it is in my core.
When this skin I wear sheds and my bones turn to dust and the life has left my body, I'll still love you.
When my fleshy tomb is laid into the ground it will be found that it is still full of love, for you.
I'll say "I love you" when I cry, I'll say "I love you" when I die, I'll say "I love you" with my last breath, I'll say "I love you" even after, even after death.

The love I have for you transcends souls, space, and time.
I'll you eternally, I hope your love will be, forever mine.

Until I'm rotten and forgotten, displayed and decayed, exposed and decomposed, my love will still remain the same, as it always was, for you.

I was, have been, and still am, in love with you.