Day 80 January 22 2014: Dogma

I thank God I'm an agnostic atheist.

Because atheists don't fly planes into buildings or start holy wars.

For Siddhārtha Gautama's sake Hitler was a Christian, only in name mind you and not by actions, but thats seems to be common.

When people say "God bless America" I think it's funny that God picked a team 237 and now almost 238 years ago.

I had an imaginary friend when I was a child but instead of being born again, I grew up.

It is sad to see a corporation become a person and that said "person" will believe something you don't and it takes away your rights, because you work for a person not a business. "We the Corporation..." I don't think thats how it goes. When did someone else's religious beliefs get to take away my rights as a person?
I also dislike having "In God we trust" as the motto and on the currency of this nation, because there is supposed to be a separation of church and state. I guess it only counts when you want it.
Shit, you cherry pick your religious texts so why not do the same with the Bill of Rights and the Constitution?

Theres something about religious fantasies that I'll never understand, for example:
In one story from the Bible, Yahweh sent himself to us to kill himself to save us from himself, all while the third guy just hangs out.

How is dying a sacrifice if you're just going to come back a few days later?

Also two things, I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't call it good Friday because it probably wasn't that good for him, but I don't even know he if really existed. I also find it pretty ridiculous that it is a monotheistic religion, but there are three separate individuals and yet they are they same person but separate...but still one person, etc.

In another myth from The Qur'an, Surat Al-Qamar 54:1 "The hour has come near, and the moon has split [in two]." It's believed that a man rode a winged horse and cracked the moon in half. I'll say that again, A MAN RODE A WINGED HORSE AND CRACKED THE MOON IN HALF. I don't think I need to explain why this is ridiculous. That man also married a six year old but didn't consummate the marriage till she was nine or ten years old.

In another one the wolf God Sköll would try to eat the sun and would succeed in his attempts causing a solar eclipse. It was believed that performing certain tasks or rituals would cause the sun to return. It would have returned anyways but, why learn when you can believe?

How about some lightning bolts because you didn't pleased a God?

How about a hurricane because of homosexuality? Don't believe it? Well talk to Pat Robertson and see what God has to say.

How about the myth of jewish slavery in Egypt? I don't believe it happened and evidence or lack of evidence shows that it is a fairy tale, but if you believe this myth then why would God harden Pharaohs heart? Exodus 9:12 KJB says, "And the LORD hardened the heart of Pharaoh, and he hearkened not unto them; as the LORD had spoken unto Moses." so why would an all knowing, all powerful God harden the heart of the ruler? Bring down boils, frogs, locust, and kill the first born of every person and every cattle? Just to prove his power?

These stories are pure fantasy and are a archaic, bronze age, and terribly dogmatic belief that needs to be studied, ridiculed, refuted, and placed in a part of our history in line with greek mythology.

Humans are more intelligent now, they don't need fairy tales to explain everything.

We may not ever understand how we came about or why certain things happen, but to say we know and refuse to question, well that stifles human intelligence and limits our potential.

I have a skepticism towards faith and blind faith is something I can't begin to reason in my mind.
People will kill other people, something we as humans have become greatly better at and do very frequently, based on blind faith. You'll do what you're supposed to do after God was done revealing his plan to you.

To accept something that has almost none, if not no shred of evidence and has no way of proving itself to be true, is something I can't do. Just because something doesn't prove to be false doesn't make it true. I need evidence and then I will question the evidence.
People have told me before that it is on me to prove that God doesn't exists, but you can't prove a negative and shifting the burden of proof doesn't make your claim anymore valid.
I don't like it when people tell me stories about what God has done, thats not evidence, that is an anecdote.

I dont understand prayer.

If God has a plan and he knows how its going to happen and its all according to his plan, then why pray for change? Why pray for help? Why pray for the sick to get better?

It is in his plan for people to get sick and die, its in his plan for your dad to be an alcoholic and hit you, its in his all knowing wisdom to keep food from millions and give them aids, so why bother helping? That would be taking away from the plan of your divine deity.

Fucking mother Teresa.

Suffering can be helped, but not by getting on your knees and pleasing an old man.

I find prayer similar to what someone strung out on drugs does, they think their talking to someone but all I see is them talking to no one and looking crazy.

Prayer is the best way to feel like you did something while accomplishing nothing.

For some reason though the philosophy of religion fascinates and frustrates me in a way that I don't think I'll ever stop reading and researching all the stories, fantasies, and myths that go along with it.

As they say, God's don't kill people, people with God's kill people.

"And in the beginning man created God..."

God is dead, in fact I don't know if she ever existed.

Day 79 January 21 2014: Lessons from my brother

You'll never read this, you'll never know I wrote this. I could read it to you, but you would just interrupt me and tell me some story that you start laughing half way through.
You taught me to laugh whenever possible.

You were born too small, too sick, too damaged to make it, and yet, you've made it.
You taught me that I can make it.

"He'll never walk."

"He'll never talk."

"He won't live passed three...if he's lucky."

I remember when you broke my wrist, clapping in church and praising Jesus.

I remember helping you brush your teeth, telling you that plaque is bad.

I remember putting on your velcro shoes, laces are something you haven't mastered, yet.
You taught me that its okay to ask for help and to stand back when you're clapping.

I wish I could be as happy as you are(most days), you have an infectious smile, a laugh that spreads through a room, and you always tell people how much you love them.

You taught me that life isn't as hard as we make it out to be.

More people should be like you.

More people should laugh like you.

More people should love like you.

More people should know you.

You have never said that you've "hated" something, the word hate I don't think has ever left your lips.
You taught me not to hate.

"I just called to say I love you, I just called to say how much I care." - Made famous by Stevie Wonder, made memorable by Benjamin Randel.

Ben working on some art.

Day 78 January 20 2014: When I dream

When I dream, its of her and I can't do that any longer.

She comes in like and Angel, so beautiful and sweet, I remember the first time we meet, but a shift in the wind, she's no longer my friend, but a devil, with hooves for feet.

When you overtake my dreams, they are joyful and gladness, until I realize you're not really there and then to my despair, its replaced, with utter sadness.

Her dancing across my grey matter, like a field of flowers her feet have powers that charm for hours, the pitter patter are all that matter, for you see, she is to perfect to flatter.

But these dreams can't go on, even though it's something I adore,

For the fantasy is fun, not the broken heart mon amour.

To escape all of you is what I aim to do, it's not that I regret,

it's just the memory pains, the lifeline strains, and this infernal nocturnal brain,

is something I'd rather like to forget.

To meet you on the other side is a goal, we meet, we laugh, we dance, and we're made whole.
I'll forever seen you in my dreams, silently saying, "return to me, return to me."

But it is I who must make the journey, it is a bridge I'm too scared to cross.
For my dreams to become my reality, means my reality will then be lost.
So I'll see you tonight my friend and we'll discuss the end, whatever it may cost.
Between fire missions and religious submissions, I will eternally remain, forever lost.

Forgive me, I know not what I do.

I dream of sleep and I sleep to dream.