Day 117 February 28 2014: You're cheesy

Short smiles from a half crooked mouth stuffed in a pillow has never been so beautiful,
Little snores and breaths that echo across memories,
little bits of scent left on my shoulder and on my chest,
"I love the way your heart sounds in my ear, I can hear myself in it."

"I don't wanna sleep alone"
"As long as I'm in your heart you're never alone."

Snores ringing in my ear and little leg spasms move my sheets,
When you talk to me and I have nothing to say it's the best,
I enjoy being on the phone with nothing to say with someone than something to say to no one,
"It wasn't love at first sight but I knew at first sight I'd fall in love."

"I wanna wake up next to you when the sun comes up"
"I wanna be the sun in your sky"
"Jesus, you're cheesy"
"You can just call me Jon, You don't have to call me Jesus."

I've never been good with girls but thank goodness women like me, or at least one of them.

Day 116 February 27 2014: I've told you already

She told me to read her mind,
I told her if her mind was a book I'd never put it down.

She told me I was crazy,
I told her I was crazy for her.

She told me to tell her something beautiful,
I'd told her her first name.

She told me to tell her a story,
I told her I'd write her into mine.

She told me to make her fall in love,
I told her I'd catch her at the bottom.

Love is something two people do together and I'm looking forward to doing it with you.

I've told you this already....and I'll tell you for the rest of forever.

Day 115 February 26 2014: My Angel, Her Devil

I've never met a more beautiful creature
She crawled in my heart and mended my torn ventricles
I watched her rend and repaired my broken pieces into a completed puzzle
I witnessed as she put what was missing from my image into the empty picture frame.

She captured me like no photograph could
She released me from my prison only for me to fall captive to her touch
Her breath made me feel at ease
Her touch made me relax
I need more of her.

I've never met anything or anyone one like her
Every imperfection more perfect than the last
An Angel bestowed to earth and I was lucky to be graced with her presence and held underneath her wing.

I'm not spiritual but I would be if it meant an afterlife with her,
Because one lifetime isn't enough to enjoy the love she has to give.

She didn't have a halo or wings, but I knew she was an Angel the second I felt her look into my heart through my eyes. I felt my heart being put back together.

She is my Angel and I am her Devil.

Day 114 February 25 2014: No good deed

I Stopped to smell the roses and my nose gets pricked by a thorn, pleasure always comes with pain.

I donated to charity to help feed the homeless, I shouldn't have used my rent money.

I pushed a small child on a swing and heard them laugh, their mother is pressing charges.

I helped an elderly lady cross the street, my nickname is now "GILF lover."

I held the door open for a woman,  forty-eight more people helped themselves.

I decided I'd pay for the person behind me in the grocery store, she bought over six hundred dollars of food.

I gave you the shirt off my back, forecast is calling for acid rain.

I loved you with the depth that any ocean would be jealous of, and you left me to drown.

"No good deed goes unpunished."
 - Oscar Wilde

Day 113 February 24 2014: Devils reflection

I was driving down the road on my way home when I saw her pulled off the road and I pulled up and she was stuck in the snow, that is when I heard him whisper from the back seat

"She won't be missed."

"Don't do it, don't you do this one."

"Shut up you weak bitch! I won't do anything, you will. Do you wanna go another two years without it?! Just go do it!"

"Stop! Just stop! You're not the boss of me!"

"Oh...but I am" he said like a snake in my ear "Now get out and go fucking do it boy."

I pulled my car over and I reluctantly put it in park and got out of the seat, I didn't want this but it has been so long, what else could I do? Maybe I could just help get her unstuck.

*Knock knock* my knuckles tapped on her window startling her a bit

"Ma'am are you okay? Do you need help?"

"No I'm fine" she spoke as she barely cracked the window "My husband will be here soon, I don't think it's stuck bad but I'll just wait for him thank you" and back up the small clear barrier went.
That bitch wouldn't roll down the window all the way for me?

She wouldn't see me coming in this snow, no, she wouldn't see US in this blizzard.

Getting back in my car I put on my seatbelt and go to turn the key

"She's perfect, she'll be easy for you! Good thing I've been pushing you to lift so much lately right?"

"Hush asshole, I'm figuring things out."

"What is there to figure out? Grab the hammer, smash out the window, kill her or take her home to kill her, how hard is that you fucking retard?!"

"Get out of my head, I need to think this through!"

"Out of your head, that's a fucking laugh, we are one no matter if you like it or not...I'm a part of you and I like to think the best part of..."

"Please just stop talking and I'll do it."
"Fine Shakespeare, let me see poetry in motion. Dazzle me."

I grabbed the hammer from the passenger seat, it was brand new, even had the sticker on it from the home store I just bought it from that day. It's like I knew she would be here.

I opened my door and swallowed the lump in my throat trying to scream out "RUN!" but I just pushed it down inside my chest.

"Go...bitch." came from the backseat.

Slamming doors on people that don't exist is not very satisfying.

I sprinted for the car and I could feel my eyes turning black.

I slammed the car with my body and took to smashing the clear glass window like it was nothing and she was screaming so loud. I find county roads are good for spotting deer and committing murders, I didn't see one deer on the way out either.

Pulling myself through the broken window and grabbing that poor girl by the hair hurt so much inside but I just screamed out, "COME HERE BITCH!" and proceeded to cave in her skull with the brand new hammer. Once she stopped kicking me and trying to keep living it became much easier to swing that hammer.

It was a shame really, so pretty, so vibrant, so young, such a nice frame, light weight, and so worth every penny. All that money spent on a new hammer when I had a perfectly good one sitting at home. I hate getting new tools dirty.

As I pulled her body to my car I looked back at the trail of blood and compacted snow, warm blood and cold snow make for a very picturesque setting, I bet Ansel Adams would be so jealous of what I'm looking at now, well he would be if he was crazy.

"Now why won't my fucking car start?"
"Guess you'll just have to burn it."
I suppose he's right.

Great now I gotta drag this dead bitch back to her fucking messy car and she doesn't even have a tape player for my XTC cassette? What a shit night this is turning out to be.

"See I told you this was a bad idea. I won't be able to listen to my tape."

"Shut up you little bitch, didn't it feel good seeing her face full of fear? Didn't you get a rush the second your arm felt the vibration of that hammer connecting with bone? And you wanna crying over your pussy-ass XTC tape?"

I blushed.

"Yeah I fucking thought so, now move her and we'll figure it out as we go."

This is why I hated this prick. He is always fucking right.

Throwing her bleeding corpse into her trunk wasn't easy, I had to break her left leg with my dirty hammer to get her to fit in the little piece of shit trunk, but I made it work by cracking her shin in half  with a few swift blows and just slightly breaking her ankle, I tossed snow onto the car and rubbed it on the paint to get the blood off. I couldn't risked getting pulled over and having to kill another cop again because last time that was a nightmare.
I pushed the car out of the little ditch it was in and hopped inside.

I started the car and some shitty pop music or what people call music theses started playing so I turned that shit off and took off into the snow.
"When did music become so plastic?"
"I don't like plastic music, I like plastic wrap."
"Do you ever stop?"
Wipers on and off we go.
As I drove past my burning car I paused for a second and thought of all the death that machine has seen, only seems fitting to burn the instruments of evil. Guess I know how it's gonna end.

"No music huh? It's okay I'll commentate from the back seat. 'Dead girl with bashed in skull and broken leg lays in trunk while psychopath drives off in victims shitty car with an imaginary friend in the backsea...'"

"Seriously do you ever shut up?! All you do is talk about murder and how great blood smells and just annoy the shi..."

"Don't forget...I'm part of you. The best part in fact, the strong part, the smart part, you'd be a little whiny bitch if it wasn't for me. Don't you ever forget that."

That is when I looked in the mirror and saw no one in the back seat, I turned the mirror to myself for a moment and saw a devils reflection. This is why I broke all the mirrors in my house.

This is why I broke all those fucking mirrors.

"My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone.
In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others.
I want no one to escape."
- Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman from American Psycho.