Day 132 March 16 2014: Faceless enemies

No one wins a war against a faceless enemy...maybe that's why some people take themselves out of the fight.

If you're still fighting after the shots have ended, after the smoke has cleared, after the wounded have been taken away, and after the dead have been mourned...I'll be right next to you fighting those demons away.

Don't take yourself out of the fight, don't think you're fighting alone, don't let the faceless enemy win.
Let me fight with you, we wont let you take another life, I'll make sure we save yours.

Don't let a war over an ocean become a battle at home.
Don't survive a firefight to lose yourself by the fireside.
Don't give up.
Don't quit fighting.

Don't become a statistic.

Enemies, Faceless enemies.
You can't see when fighting faceless enemies, because you don't know who to trust and you don't know who to kill.
You don't know who to shoot and who is shooting.

You just hope you pull that trigger first.

Day 131 March 15 2014: Sleep keeps me sane...sorta

I woke up and felt this heavy feeling on my chest like a elephant was standing on me, like a shot of morphine got put in my veins faster than it should have been.
I felt memories fading from what seemed realistic and slipping into a distant dream like something I hadn't really lived but maybe just something I've forgotten. That makes no sense but it is how I felt.
I could hear screams and laughter moving away from my ears, fading in a sad and pleasurable doppler effect but I wish it would end or get louder, I'm not sure which would be better.

I moved rapidly across the bed yelling something about nothing outloud for only me to hear, she moved and told me to calm down. How could I be calm? I had no idea who or what I was, what year it was, who killed who, where did I find the courage to go on, and when the fuck did I get in pajamas?

I laid back down and held her close. Who is she?

I feel like I'm living different lives everyday and when I fall asleep I wake up as someone else in a bed next to a stranger I've known for years with memories I have yet to remember of things I've never done before. Shit that sounds strange.

I'll keep writing it here in my logbook among the stars because everytime I step out into the cosmos it's a different trip and who knows when I'm coming back home...I wonder where home really is. I wonder if I'm just dreaming up this whole thing, maybe I'm just sleeping and when I wake up I'll be someone else.
I feel like that wouldn't change much, I don't even know who I am right now.

Fuck...I think I'll just go back to sleep.

I fall asleep to escape
but what if reality is the escape
 from my dreams?