Day 130 March 14 2014: Two flags

I stood there by myself, well, I guess I wasn't really alone, I was surrounded by my friends....just none of them knew I was there and I couldn't see any of them anymore.
I could hear the wind rush by and felt it touch my face, It wasn't as hot as it was when I last felt it touch my face, when it touched their faces, but that stinging cold it left on my face was kinda perfect in this moment.
I stood there with a backpack full of flags and mementos, I kept them all for my heros that no one remembers and yet everyone thanks me for being one...fuck that is annoying.
It means more today than any day but I know no one here will know it, but they all would be right there to high five us and tell us how glad they were for us.
I recall how much each person meant to me and how they saved me from being here with them, but one stood out more than the others, it hurt most to place both flags there for him.

I put one there to remember him as a hero for this country, it was the flag they buried him in.
I put one there to remember him as how I loved him, it is what they condemned him with.

Love is love is love.

I never loved a man more than I loved him and I'll never be able love anyone like that again, at least now I get the right to try.

"When I was in the military
they gave me a medal for killing two men
and discharged me for loving one."