Day 62 January 4 2014: Why we can't have nice things

Why we can't have nice things:
Florida (Who doesn't wanna eat someones face?)
People who think the world is 6,000 years old
The Tea Party
People with confederate flag tattoos
War
People who fart in elevators
Fox "News"
People who believe in horoscopes (Because mars was just a little lower in the sky and you were born in March so you...should stop being an idiot.)
Arizona (Not all just most[although zero discrimination])
George W. Bush
Meth
Stand your ground
Florida (because if your gonna shoot a gun you better hit somebody)
Anyone who thinks their "Restless leg syndrome" is really a problem
People who got upset over that Coke ad
People who don't know that "America the beautiful" isn't our national anthem
Anyone who says "Why should I press 1 for english?!"
Florida (Puppeteers who want to cook and eat children)
Christians who don't act Christ like
Politicians
Miley Cyrus
People who say 'Merica
Crocs
Ugly babies
Those Kardashian things
Raves
War...again
The Tea Party (Michele Bachmann, need I say more?)
People who care more about Justin Bieber than about Venezuela or Ukraine
Florida (Letting your ten year old grandson get a tattoo sounds like a good idea)
Fat people (Fuck you fatty, I don't care)
Every girl wearing yoga pants with uggs, walking with their Starbucks, texting on their iPhone, and complaining that their life is a "struggle"
Every guy that immediately calls skins in a friendly basketball game, drugs a girls drink, grunts in the gym, thinks women are objects
Women who actually are nothing more than objects
Children who are having children
Bill O'Reilly
Identity theft
Thinking that being homosexual is a choice
Not realizing that your bigotry is a choice
Florida (Texting in a theater, not anymore)
Anyone who says they are "Country" but have never done anything country besides listen to shit music and wear some awful knock-off shit kickers
Lil Wayne
Sean Hannity
Hitler
War...seriously guys
The Tea Party (“If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways of shutting that whole thing down.” -Todd Akin)
Anyone who thinks America was founded as "A Christian Nation"
Modern rap
Modern "music"
The federal reserve
People who get shitty because someone smokes pot
People who think Obama is comparable to Hitler
Drone strikes
Girls who call themselves and their friends bitches
People who use the word Ratchet for any other meaning than as a tool (Stop destroying the English language)
Anyone who gets upset if you draw a goofy picture of their deity (Fuck you Mohammad)
SB 1062
Everyone who is going crazy over gun rights
Mitch McConnell
Men who hit women*, children, or animals
*Women who hit men and then think they aren't gonna get punched (hit me three times and I'm swinging)
Thinking Noahs ark was a real thing
Westboro Baptist Church
Having a two party system that fights more about being in a party than about actual politics
God (Any type of this creation God/Allah/Flying Spaghetti Monster)

And mostly, myself.
Sorry America, we all fucked it up.

Welcome to Rome!

Oh and fucking Florida (Why wouldn't you marry a ferris wheel named 'Bruce'?)