Day 104 February 15 2014: I remember

I stood there standing in the cold waiting for your car to show.

I remember watching my breath rise as the heat escaped my lungs and the snow melted in its wake, I remember being upset that you were late and I was shivering waiting for you to get there, I remember watching the wind blow the drift around and the moon lit up the sky, I remember everything from that night but I forgot to tell you I loved you when I hung up that phone.

I stood there just waiting.

I remember when I called you and it went to voice mail, I remember when I kept calling and kept getting more frustrated that you didn't pick up, I remember leaving angry messages to you, I remember yelling into my phone that "IT'S FREEZING OUTSIDE! HURRY YOUR ASS UP", I remember watching the few cars that went passed me and being upset it wasn't you, I remember everything from that night but I forgot to tell you I loved you when I hung up that phone.

I just stood there upset.

I remember when my phone rang and my fingers were too cold to work, I remember answering it all pissed off when I saw it was you, I remember yelling at your sister before she could say a word, I remember her crying in my ear and not making any sense, I remember what she said to me and how my heart sank, I remember how my ears stung more from those words than from the cold, I remember everything from that night but I forgot to tell you I loved you when I hung up that phone.

"She had a present for you in the car."

I remember running as fast as I could screaming at cars to pick me up, I remember crying the entire way to the hospital, I remember trying to call my mother on the way there, I remember getting in the doors and yelling to find you, I remember the nurses rushing me to that room, I remember running down hallway after hallway and it feeling like forever, I remember getting to the waiting room to see your entire family there just crying with each other, I remember the moment that I knew I'd never see you smile again, I remember everything from that night but I forgot to tell you I loved you when I hung up that phone.

I remember everything like it was yesterday.

I'll never forget to tell someone I love them because it might just be the last thing they get to hear.

Never will you feel more helpless than in a waiting room...